|
I
flew into Pensacola Florida, where I was filming an
interview for the film project Refresh Life has been
working on. But what I had planned as a time of work
and play suddenly turned into a giant classroom filled
with spiritual lessons and tests. When I was tempted
to overlook the lessons as merely undesirable circumstances
the Spirit was faithful to show me otherwise. Dare I
say it, “Yes, God is involved in the very details
of our lives.”
While checking my luggage I was prepared for the overweight
fee (as I had failed this part of the lesson the first
go around when traveling to D.C.). I learned the hard
way and let the ticketing agents not-so-warm tone of,
“That will be 25 dollars, your bag is overweight!”
steal my joy. I gripped and complained all the way to
D.C., and if you ask Regina, probably for the rest of
the trip too. Yes such a little thing but sometimes
those are the things that catch us unaware. However,
this trip I had come prepared and when the agent announced
my bag overweight I popped my credit card over the counter
with a smile! So proud of myself for being kind, I walked
ahead confident and foolishly ill prepared.
I
passed through the security checkpoint, a chore I dislike.
It means pulling the camera and the laptop out of their
bags and placing them in separate plastic bins. Then
only to be herded like cattle through the metal detector
and to rush over to the end of the x-ray machine to
grab my bags while hopping around on one foot trying
to put my shoes back on with one hand and using the
other to grab the video camera and computer. All the
while everyone behind me mutters and deems me nothing
but a speed bump, rough on the shocks but not large
enough to consider slowing down for, so over me they
run. This trip was no different, everyone was in a hurry.
The man behind me, along with his family, kept pushing
ahead of me. In the ciaos I placed my ticket in the
tray and off it went through the machine, meanwhile
the man behind me rushed his boarding pass into the
security agents hand and everyone else just stared at
me. Shoeless and ticketless I passed through the detector
to yet another agent tossing my laptop out of the bin,
yes, tossing! My flesh welled up within me and I thought
that maybe I should inform the agent on the definition
of the words gentleness and respect... and so I did.
Fuming I didn’t even bother tying my shoes, I
grabbed my carry ons and raced over every speed bumpish
person in my way.
Quickly
I arrived at my gate and selected a comfortable seat
by the windows so that I could wait peacefully for my
plane to arrive. I pulled a book out of my bag, “Lies
Woman Believe” by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. The Spirit
began to speak as I started to read, “When Jesus
tells us to love our neighbor as ourselves the point
is not that we need to learn to love ourselves so that
we can love others. Jesus is saying that we need to
give others the same attention and care we naturally
give ourselves.” Later the author writes, “The
reason some of us get hurt so easily is not because
we hate ourselves, but because we love ourselves! We
want to be accepted, cherished and treated well. If
we did not care so much about ourselves, we would not
be so concerned about being rejected, neglected, or
mistreated.” There I was loving myself right into
sin. I was upset that the man behind me didn’t
care enough about me to respect that I had my hands
full and had misplaced my ticket. I was upset that the
security agent treated my belongings like trash. Ultimately
I was angry because I didn’t think any of those
people had treated me as well as I deserved to be treated.
DeMoss also writes, “We need to learn how to deny
ourselves, so we can do that which does not come naturally
-to truly love God and others.... Once we have received
His love, we will not have to compare ourselves to others;
we will not focus on “self” at all. Instead
we will become channels of his love to others.”
My heart began to break inside, how wrong my attitude
had been, “Father, please my forgive me,”
I cried “I am sorry for thinking that everyone
should love me first, teach me Lord to let go of self
and to treat others as Christ would have treated them.”
As
I was confessing, a comical scene played out in front
of me. I believe the Lord was showing me a picture of
myself. A little boy was traveling with his mother and
siblings, while waiting to board our plane they were
playing with play dough. The young boy had quite meticulously
crafted an alien out of his green dough and while admiring
his creation his older sister reached over and snatched
the head right off his little green man. Loud protests
of wrong doing followed. Only to the boys dismay, his
mother turned around and told him to quiet down for
no grievance for the now headless martian would be heard.
A few minutes later the boy’s mother was talking
to his Father on the phone, when it became his turn
to talk to his Father he quickly took the opportunity
to tell his dad that his sister was being a pest and
that no one was treating him fairly. Soon his mother
began tapping the young boy on the shoulder telling
him to pass the phone along to his brother as they didn’t
have much time. It was the final straw, the little boy’s
world had come crumbling down, he cried aloud “It’s
not fair! Everyone is being mean to me, the world hates
me!” As sad as I felt for the little boy part
of me couldn’t help but giggle. “Lord, is
that what I look like to you at times, a six year old
sobbing because I didn’t feel that life was being
fair?” I understand that it is hard for a six
year old to comprehend dying to self, but I was 26 and
still throwing a temper tantrum over similar things.
I
boarded the plane and once aboard I found room for each
of my bags and settled in to enjoy my “Sky Mall”
magazine. Down the isle came the same man and his family
who I had tangled with earlier, but this time I was
seated and out of the way, I was taken care of. Our
plane was quite full and it seemed that there was no
room for two of his carry on suitcases. The stewardess
told the man that they would have to check them below
the plane. This suggestion however was met with loud
appeals and angry demands of his rights. At first I
pretended not to have noticed the scene, until the man
began to justify his need,he said that he was an artist
and that inside each of the suitcases were his sculptures.
The Lord began to speak to my heart. Just as much as
much as I didn’t want my laptop tossed around,
neither did this man want his sculptures bounced in
the bottom of the plane. I knew that I was responsible
for what I had just learned about being a channel through
which God’s love could flow to others. I stood
from my seat and began moving my bags around until there
was room for one of his suitcases, following my lead
another passenger did the same. By the time the steuardess
returned with the pilot the problem was resolved. I
was thanked by the man but more importantly I knew that
I had been obedient to the Lord. All of these lessons
and the plane hadn’t even taken off yet.
I
think most of life is filled with lessons like these
and we just get to busy and hardened, insensitive to
the Spirit. The rest of my trip was great, I got to
visit with a dear friend, laugh, cry and pray with her.
I saw the destruction of hurricane Ivan still visible
almost three months later. Of course, the lights were
set up and we filmed Jenny’s testimony, of which
I am excited to share with all of you sometime in this
next year. I am thankful for my time in Florida, and
thankful that we have a God who loves us so much that
he desires us to be mature, complete and lacking nothing.
Written
by Brooke Heidi
1.
DeMoss, Nancy L., “Lies Women Believe; and the
truths that set them free.” Chicago: Moody Press.
2001,70-71.
|
